YOU DON'T NEED TO FIT IN
blog 5
YOU DON’T NEED TO FIT IN
Growing up, I was surrounded by negativity. It was disheartening to witness how easily people would tear each other down. Even as a child, I couldn’t understand it,why go out of your way to make someone else feel small?
I knew early on that I was different.
While others criticized and competed, I longed for peace, connection, and togetherness.
But being different came at a cost.
I was bullied severely at times and those experiences left marks that weren’t always visible. One of my earliest memories of this was in 6th grade. My mom had permed my hair because it had become difficult to manage. Instead of helping, the perm caused damage, and my hair began to fall out. It was already hard enough to deal with physically, but emotionally, it was devastating.
I remember sitting on the bus, heart racing, already knowing what was coming. The older kids would sit in the back, and I would sit in the front, trying to make myself small, hoping to go unnoticed. But I never did.
One morning, one of the older girls, the leader of it all, reached forward and pulled at my hair. That moment stayed with me. Not just because it hurt physically, but because of how small and powerless I felt.
Despite the love and effort from my mom and grandmother to make me feel beautiful, the damage, both inside and out, felt overwhelming.
And yet… I endured.
Years later, something unexpected happened. In 2022, that same girl complimented my hair. She said she loved it. The very thing that once made me a target had become something admired. And in that moment, I realized something deeper than just “my hair grew back.”
I grew back.
Stronger. Softer. Still kind.
Because despite everything, I never allowed their behavior to harden my heart. As we got older, I chose kindness, even toward those who once hurt me. That doesn’t mean the pain didn’t matter. It means it didn’t define me.
We all carry both good and painful memories. But healing is choosing not to stay rooted in the pain. It’s allowing yourself to release what hurt you, without losing who you are.
For so long, I tried to fit into spaces that were never meant for me.
I shrank myself. I questioned myself. I adjusted who I was just to be accepted.
But the truth is:
I was never meant to fit in.
I was meant to stand in who I am fully, freely, and without apology.
I am enough as I am.
And even the painful parts of my story have purpose. Because as it says in Romans 8:28:
“All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord.”
Even the bullying.
Even the heartbreak.
Even the moments I wanted to disappear. They were all shaping me into someone who no longer seeks validation from the outside, but stands rooted in truth.
I don’t need to fit in.
Neither do you.
